Wednesday August 24, 2005

I called the hospital around 8am this morning and talked to dad’s nurse. She said he is continuing to improve. He had been awake and alert. Knew who he was and where he was. She would have let me talk to him then except they had just given him pain medicine and he was asleep. I asked how long it was though he would be in ICU. She told me probably through today provided he continues to do well.

I called again about 1:30pm and was able to talk to him. I had a difficult time understanding him and am not sure if he just didn’t have the phone close enough to his mouth or if he was medicated enough he was just mumbling. He said he did feel some better. He did tell me the doctor took out his colon and that they wouldn’t let him eat or drink.  It was just nice to hear his voice.

 

Thanks to all of you who have prayed and are praying. I believe God has heard you and answered or he wouldn’t be here!

 

Excerpt from my journal September 1999

 

Do you have anything you want to say to me?

 

I am pleased.

 

What are you pleased about?

 

You. I am very pleased with you. You say many times that you just want to please me. Well, you do. But I’m not pleased for the reasons you think. I am pleased because of who you are and what you’ve allowed Me to do in you. It’s not the things you do. It’s not your “doing for Me” that pleases Me. You asking for more of Me in you, asking for a deeper relationship with Me. That pleases Me very much. Please don’t lose heart. You have been disheartened, discouraged, yes even disappointed. That is not My plan for you. You are a woman of hope, courage and heart. Quit looking around you and look to Me. You are to walk by faith (things you can’t see) and not by your sight. You know you can trust Me. You are worried about many things – only one thing is needed – sit at My feet and gaze into My face. Focus on our relationship and you will begin to see things fall into place and you will be in awe. Cast your cares on Me no matter how silly they seem. If you are fretting over it, its not silly, its causing you to lose focus. I care for you so give it all to Me. Examine it. Then cast off everything that hinders you. You carry things you weren’t meant to carry and you carry them deeply. It’s time to clean house. Room by room, closet by closet, drawer by drawer. Are you ready?

 

Yes, I think so.

 

You know when you start there will be some things you have forgotten about. You’ll think “I can use that for something” and you’ll be tempted to hang on to it. You’ve not used it by now. Get rid of it. In order to make room for more of Me there must be less of you. Some things will have sentimental value but you must choose Me or sentiment. I know that seems harsh but I am jealous for you. I love you too much to share your affections with anything else.

 

Has house cleaning already begun?

 

It has already begun. There are some places already gone through. Other places have been forgotten because “out of sight, out of mind” or it was too overwhelming to deal with. You didn’t know where to start. Those things will be dealt with in time.

 

Unless the Lord had been my help, my soul would soon have settled in silence. If I say, “My foot slips,” Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. Psalm 94:17-19 NKJV