Tuesday August 30, 2005

I apologize for not posting yesterday (Mom) She always looks forward to my posts. I was going to do that when I got home from work last night but my daughter who is rarely home was on the computer last night until 11:30pm. So decided to just wait until today.

 

Talked to my Dad today. Looks like he may go home tomorrow WOO HOO! He sounds better and better every time I talk to him. Says he still doesn't have much of an appetite but he's trying to get food down anyway. The doctor said he's body was depleted from all that was going on with him. I told him its a good excuse for a high protein high carbohydrate diet!

 

Gosh, Monday was a blur. My Pastor and our youth pastor left for Durban South Africa Monday evening. Hope the weather in Atlanta didn’t slow them down. Haven’t heard whether they were able to get through or not. Doyle and I had lunch with Pastor. That was nice. He and Doyle discussed some things regarding the upcoming Men’s Retreat in September. Doyle is over the men’s ministry in our church and he organizes the Men’s Retreat each year.

 

Hey all I got my first pedicure Monday! I know ya’ll are shocked! Well, those who know what a “tom-boy” I am even at the age of 45 (did I really say that just now! Eeks that’s old!) will be shocked. Yes, I have pretty pink toes! A friend of mine and cell group member gave me a gift certificate to have a pedicure for my birthday. I know, that was two months ago! Well actually I got it the week I was to leave to go on vacation. I was hoping to get it done before but there were two many things to do. So Mom you have to be sure and look at my feet when you come this weekend! 

 

I rode my bicycle to the place which is not quite 3 miles. As I was getting close the little rain cloud blew up. I got there just in time as it opened up and rained while my feet were soaking! The rains were the outer bans of Hurricane Katrina. That’s how big it was!

 

Excerpt from my journal April 2000.

 

Oh, Daddy, I need you. I am overwhelmed. I miss You. I know You didn’t leave. I know I’ve been too busy. I don’t know how I got here. All I know is I miss being with You. I miss hearing You speak. I want to be with You. I need a hug badly. I need to hear You say You love me.

 

I do love you My Child and I have missed you too!

 

How do I get out of this mess. I am so tired. All I want to do today is go home and go to bed. Yet I feel pressure to get things done. See people , ride my horse, do my bible study go buy groceries, buy a wedding gift, go to a meeting tonight- AAH!!!! Help me please! I’m drowning. I will wait for You, O Lord; You will answer, O Lord My God (Ps 38:15)

 

O, Valerie, My Daughter, how it grieves me to see You so burdened. Come to Me My Child. Come to Pappa.

 

I’m coming Daddy, I’m sorry. Sorry I got my eyes off You. I tried to do it myself. I don’t even know when it started.

 

It was a gradual thing. That’s why you didn’t see it coming. I forgive you My Precious One. How good it feels to have you in My arms again. To hold you close and smell your fragrance.

 

Oh, Daddy, I love You so much. I don’t ever want to leave this place. I want to stay right here  out of the flow of life. No worries, no messy sheep, no heartaches, no headaches!

 

You may stay until you are refreshed and renewed but you know you can’t stay here. There are people out there who need Me. People who need the truth and I want to use you to do that. May I? Will you do that for Me?

 

Oh, Daddy, how can I say no to You. After all You’ve done for me. Yes, You may use me. Yes, I will go but can I come back?

 

Yes, you can always come back. Feast on Me then go out again. You need to come back because I am your source. It’s like your truck. It needs fuel to run. I am your fuel. Or how things operate on rechargeable batteries. Plugged into “the source” they never run down – away from “the source” they have power for a while but to continue being useful  they have to be plugged back into “the source”. To continue to have a life you must be plugged into “the source”.

 

Okay, so basically the reason I feel like I do is because I’ve not plugged into you enough to get fully charged?

 

Yes. How beautiful are the feet of him who brings good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion “your God reigns.” Isaiah 52:7

 

Blessings to all of you. Continue to be in prayer for all those affected by the hurricane. If there was ever a time to pray it is now, so Intercessors (prayers) rise up!