Saturday, August 20, 2005

Saturday August 20, 2005

Would ya’ll continue to pray for my Dad. I told you he came down Wednesday to visit. He still isn’t well. He has taken off two weeks from the church. He thought he could rest and recoup here as well as at home maybe better since he wouldn’t be tempted to work if he’s not at home. Well he hasn’t felt well since he’s been here and this morning he called (from my brother’s house) to say he was not doing well at all and was heading back to Missouri as soon as he got off the phone. He’s really sick to leave us earlier than he planned. I was very concerned about him and began praying as soon as our call ended. I talked to my brother later and he said Dad had been up at least four times last night going to the bathroom. I’m concerned about him being well enough to travel back home. He did call me about 30 miles out of Wichita Kansas. Said he was nauseated this morning when he talked to me. Thought he better head back home so if he really needed medical care he’d be close to his doctor. He said he was feeling better than when he left this morning but still didn’t feel very good. His wife Barbara did drive for a couple of hours…for him to turn the wheel over to someone else is a sure sign he is sick! Anyway…I’ll keep you posted but I appreciate you praying for him.

I didn’t do much today. It was really nice to not have to do anything. Did go visit my cell member Sherri who is in the nursing home for her foot. She’s doing really well. Took Kaidence, (Vanessa & Keannon’s dog). As usual I’m babysitting the dog. I don’t really mind. But I’m afraid that she’s going to think of me being her owner more than them! Sherri really enjoyed seeing her and it made her day. Vanessa went to her first market at the Apparel Mart in Dallas for WOLY Board Co.’s fall line. She left Thursday night and is coming home tonight and Keannon when he’s not working is sleeping and as you know puppies need lots of attention!

 

Excerpt from my journal April 1999

 

Daddy, I have such a hard time focusing on you. How do I do that? I get distracted so easily. I think I’m focusing on you then before I know it I’m thinking about anything but you! This is frustrating me! I want so much to please you. I want so much to further your kingdom, to bring glory to your name. What are You doing? Am I in a “waiting mode”?

 

This is my prayer Father. I want to experience You. I know there’s more. I want more. I’ve got to have more of You!

 

That’s the heart I want is the one who diligently seeks after Me. You are where I want you. Quit striving My Child. Quit trying to make it happen. You can do nothing to speed it up or slow it down. It is happening as I have planned as I have ordained it before the foundations of the earth. You waste so much time fretting about your relationship with Me. Relax. Get your focus off yourself, off our relationship. Focus on Me. You focus on Me by recounting My attributes, My character, who I AM, on the things I have done. Yes, your attention span is short but I’m training it. At least you are becoming more aware when you lose focus. Don’t lose heart. Do not be discouraged. You are making progress. Lighten up. Just be yourself. Quit looking at the law. Look to Me. Freedom is scary when you’ve walked in bondage so long. It’s really okay to make a mistake. It’s really okay to fail. Come to Me quickly. Come to My throne of grace quickly. Come eat of the feast of forgiveness and mercy.

 

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV)

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