Saturday August 27, 2005

Not much today. I did what I said I wouldn’t do. I went to the new Super Center. My cat is on a certain food that I can only get from Walmart and he was out! UGH! I needed so other things like paper goods and stuff but I figured I could get those from Dollar General but they don’t have his brand of food! I just zipped in and out. I’m still in awe of how big it is. It’s hard to fathom that it is in our town. From there I went to the church to finish copying, folding and mailing the newsletter for September. I wanted to get it out Friday but I ran out of time. Then I went by my favorite store “Cat’s Creations” (the scrapbook store). When I was there the other day and was paying out after cropping my friend forgot to charge me for some refill pages for Vanessa’s Rodeo Album. So I went back today to pay for those. I also went ahead and bought another horse album like the one I gave my friend Nancy to make my scrapbook with. Since I took pictures I can duplicate what I did.

I came home and cooked Doyle a late lunch since I worked tonight. Then I took a nap and later went to work.

Keannon and Vanessa bought mountain bikes and went riding on our Rails to Trails (the old railroad right of way the state park made into a hiking, biking, equestrian trail.) When I got home Doyle was sitting on the porch listening to the radio. There is a riot at the minimum security Prison in our city. Law Enforcement was calling in all personnel to come assist. Keannon is off this weekend but he came in to help get things under control. Things aren’t under control quite yet but I think they are making headway.

Excerpt from my journal January 2000

My husband and I had gotten into a stupid argument. It was about him saying he told me something and I said he didn’t. This is the journaling that took place after that.

 

I’m a mess

 

You’re perception is cloudy

 

Did Doyle really tell me that? That’s what the stupid argument was about.

 

What does it matter?

 

It matters to me.

 

Why….because you have to be right?

 

I don’t have to be right.

 

You don’t? You don’t treat My son Doyle as well as You do Me.

 

You’re right.

 

There was a CD playing with the words “I’m yours now and for always”. I said “Yes, Lord, I’m Yours”.

 

Yes I know I have your heart. Why do you have to be right? (Now God doesn’t ask questions because He doesn’t know the answer He does it for our benefit.)

 

Because to be wrong means I failed.

 

And your not suppose to fail?

 

Yes… but no

 

What do you mean no – do you mean you’re supposed to be perfect?

 

I know I can’t be perfect but I don’t cease to try.

 

There’s nothing wrong with making excellence your goal but you will fail. You will fall short.

 

I know but I don’t want to fail.

 

Why is failure so difficult for you?

 

Because I’m made fun of. I don’t like being made fun of. I don’t like being laughed at.

 

You don’t laugh at anyone else’s failures?

 

Yes, I have.

 

You need to be able to laugh at yourself instead of taking things so serious.

 

Well, life is serious.

 

Yes, but it is also fun! I intended for you to have fun too! I know I have your heart but I want you to be me your “need to be right” and your “fear of failure.”

 May God meet each and everyone of you in a special way tomorrow as you gather with the body of Christ.

...for without Me you can do nothing (John 15:5b) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)