I’ve had better days than late. Yesterday I did buckle down and begin walking again. It was a beautiful day. Cool enough I had the windows opened allowing in the fresh fall air. Aww!!! Nothing quite like it. I planned on being gone only about 30 minutes. I didn’t take the dog because the route I walk too many people let their dogs run loose. Taking a dog with me attracts attention. Otherwise they don’t usually bother me. The dog I’m referring to taking is Kaidence, Vanessa’s dog. She is the more active one. Anyway, I was trying to be nice (or so I thought) and thought “I’ll just let her stay in the living room with Mercy (the Great Dane) instead of putting her in her kennel. REALLY BAD IDEA!!
When I got back and opened the door… I wish you could have seen what I saw….. Kaidence had gotten into my scrap-booking bag and pulled out my Creative Memories Tape Runner and My Creative Memories Photo Splits box (with a box of splits in it). The Tape Runner was torn completely apart. Chewed beyond being able to put back together and I had just put in a new roll of adhesive! The photo Splits box that holds the old style photo splits was also torn apart and chewed beyond going back together. The box of splits inside was totally destroyed. Most of the adhesive was salvageable. Also an ink pen I had clipped to the bag I got from the Scrap Book store was chewed into a million pieces! I went into a RAGE! I was yelling, swatting the dog, throwing things, saying things I won’t mention here. I scared Kaidence so bad she wet right in front of the door! Not only was I mad at her but also I was mad at me. I KNEW BETTER! I told Vanessa numerous times to NOT EVER leave Kaidence out of her kennel when no one is home and yet I did that very thing and paid dearly for it! The photo splits box has been discontinued and I don't know if I can get another!
I needed to go to the vet and get some flea treatment because I found fleas on Kaidence. For two weeks I’ve told Vanessa and Keannon she had fleas and needed treatment before the whole house was infested! It still hadn’t been done so I decided now was a good time to blow off my steam. I poured out my heart too God. I acted so childishly! All over “stuff”. It made me see just what was really inside me and it was not a pretty picture. I asked God to change my heart to transform me, renew me. By the time I got back from the vet’s office I was a much calmer individual. And just like dogs typically do…Kaidence acted like nothing had happened. Poor Mercy…she remembered my tirade and was not so eager to see me again. She didn’t understand she was not the target of my anger.
Today at work I diligently was working on trying to enter data in my Microsoft Outlook. I had all the info I needed on my PDA (small hand-held device) but I couldn’t get it to synchronize with my new computer. Instead of wasting valuable time trying to figure out why I’m manually entering what I need! Even though I had a back up for the church data base that I use for membership and tracking offerings I can’t get it to open so I can access it! Pastor said if I can’t get it to work then I can enter the individuals contributions in Quickbooks. Which means a lot of work because I’ll have to go back to January! Needless to say I am very stressed and frustrated. My husband came by the office to see if he could get my PDA to synchronize with my new computer. I began to tell him what I’ve told you and I began to cry! I can hardly operate Quickbooks because I don’t know the program. I was using Quicken and Pastor wanted me to switch to Quickbooks at the first of the year. It is much more difficult for me than Quicken was. I don’t want to be an “old cow” that can’t learn something new but I am one of those who does much better if you “show me how” than giving me a book to figure it out.
Anyway, I know this isn’t very interesting. I just need to talk to pastor when he comes back from vacation (he’s on vacation this week) and tell him I need help. I can’t do this. I’m not smart enough to figure it out. I just don’t want him to be disappointed in me. I so want to be a help and not a hindrance and right about now I feel like a “ball and chain”! I’m crying even as I type this.
I came home and did some MAJOR house cleaning. I even surprised myself. Poor dogs…I bet they thought I was on the rampage again running the vaccum! I think I had such zeal to clean because it is something I can do! I got two rooms thoroughly cleaned and remember the comforter I tried to take to the laundry mat weeks ago to wash? I finally got that done today!
Well, tomorrow I lead worship and though I’ve been asking God what He wants me to do I’ve not a clue as of yet! So add just “one more thing” to my stress level. The thought ran through my mind today….Lord, just take me home….things would be so much simplier!
On a more positive note…I did find the photo split box like I had on Ebay so am trying to win a bid for one. Actually a couple so I can get one for Vanessa.
Three Musketeers
Top: Mercy 3yr old
Great Dane (female)
Middle: Kaidence 6 month old Blue Heeler (female)
Bottom: Zorro 7 yr old labrador/German Shepherd mix (male)
Do you see how dead the grass is? We've had very little rain and we don't water...way too expensive.
Good night everyone!
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