Today was cool. We had David & Emma Rudolph founders of Gateways Beyond at our church along with a team that were former students of the school. The team lead worship this morning so I got to just be “one of the congregation”. The worship time was very sweet and I was able to “soak” for the first time in a long while. Can’t say exactly what God did but I just “know” (in my knower) He did! Some people see things, some people get so overwhelmed by God’s presence that they can’t stand anymore…..not me. I don’t usually “feel” anything. Well, that’s not entirely true. When the presence of God is very strong I tend to cry. I’m not a crier. In fact I try very hard NOT to cry (well not as much as I used to as God has done a work in me to soften that place). I cried today…a lot! I usually don’t know what He has done but days, weeks, months later I can tell something took place.
The same happened again tonight as the team had the service again. Worship was good. There was a ministry time from the Gateways Team. I think everyone in the place went up for prayer. It was really good. It’s hard to explain these type services without you being in them. Unless you’ve ever experienced being in the presence of God it’s hard to explain to someone else. I do hope even if you don’t understand what I’m talking about you are intrigued enough to know Jesus on a personal level. It is possible
Excerpt from my journal January 2005
I am so blessed! My eyes search for a heart like yours! I know this season has been long but it has been very necessary. The bright side is…the end is near for this season. This has been a very hard test for you and sometimes you failed but you never gave up. I know you thought you had given up but in your heart of hearts you didn’t give up. It was nearly harder on Me than it was you! It was hard to see the hurt, disappointment, confusion that you faced but unlike you, I could see the big picture. I knew you would make it, that you will make it, because I know you. After all I’m the one who put you together and gave you your name. I am very pleased with you whether you are pleased with yourself or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re pleased though I want you to be. All that matters is that I’m pleased. And I am very pleased. I’m more than pleased. I am delighted! I love you My Child!
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications; because He has inclined His ear to me. Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I love. Psalm 116:1,2
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