Hard to Say Goodbye 12-29-2018

I knew this day was coming. I had been trying to prepare myself but when it arrived ... I wasn't ready.

We had to make the choice to do what was best for Clyde.

I had taken him to the vet the Saturday before Christmas. Nothing obvious other than he just nibbled at his food and didn't eat it all during his morning feeding. BIG RED FLAG! Since there were no obvious symptoms I listened to his gut. There should be almost a constant gurgling sound in a healthy gut. I heard nothing! Not good.

I discuss it with Doyle. We decide with it the weekend and then Christmas that we should take him in to avoid a more costly examination!

I got a new vet at the clinic. My guess he was probably fresh out of school. Our clinic has a lot of these to help them get experience. Most of the time I'm okay with that and that day I was okay with that.

He did his initial examine and concurred with what I thought...early stages of colic. He did say he needed to have his teeth floated (term used for filing their teeth so they can chew properly) as he was holding wads of hay in his mouth which could lead to choking. He also listened to his heart and said his heart was beating really slow. That's all he said. I thought that was good because for it to be high would be an indicator that he was in distress.

He treated him with mineral oil and water mix to help get his digestive system moving again and sent us home. He told me to wait about a week for the teeth float.

I got an appointment for that the following Saturday, December 29th. I also got the vet who owns the
clinic and we have been using for years. He saw us through the health of many of our animals.

Kennedy and Remi wanted to spend the night on Friday. I told them they could but that I had to take Clyde in early on Saturday morning. Kennedy wanted to go, Remi not so much but she didn't want to stay behind.

I fed Clyde his morning carrot and breakfast before I took him in. We get there and I unload Clyde leading him into the area for the procedure. Dr. Herbal asks me how old he is. I say "28". Says he looks good for his age and commended me on keeping wait on him. He said he was underweight but not bad.

He felt and looked in his mouth and said he definitely had a sharp place but he didn't have much teeth left. He gave him the lowest dose sedative for his size and he nearly went down. He stopped and checked his heart. He said "I don't know how this horse is still standing. His heart is only beating about 10 beats a minute!" He listened a little more and said "I hear a murmur. This horse's heart is bad. He asked me if anyone was still riding him. I said no. He said 'good because with his heart he could drop dead in his tracks without warning'. Instead of doing a float today I think you need to consider doing something else."

My heart sank. I told him I needed to call Doyle and Vanessa. Thankfully the girls got cold and were sitting in the truck during all this.

We decided today would be the day. Our decision may have been different if we owned the land our horses were on but we don't. If he were to die in the pasture we would have to figure out what to do with him. Dr. Herbal said he would bury him on his land next to one of  his daughter's horses. It's also where our first horse Valentine is buried.

After calling Doyle I went to the truck to tell the girls. I couldn't hold back the tears as I told them "Clyde isn't coming home. If you want to say your goodbyes, you need to do it now."

Dr. Herbal said he knew this was a lot to process and he told us to take whatever time we needed to say our goodbyes.

I took the girls home, picked up Vanessa and Doyle and went back to the vet for our final farewells.

Many a friend and family member has ridden Clyde. He was my "go to" horse for all my beginner riders. Korin is the only one of the family who never rode him.

Thank you Clyde, for serving us well.

Rebel Quixote aka Clyde
February 1990 - December 29, 2018