A five letter word although small packs a very powerful punch in its meaning. If you’re honest everyone has “trust” issues and that is because we have hoped or believed in people who are not perfect and make mistakes. Then we compare God to people and mistrust Him who has never given any of us any reason to not trust Him and more times than not proved His trustworthiness even when He didn’t have to.
Over the last couple of years God has been relentless in revealing my lack of trust in Him and lovingly pursuing and encouraging me to “let go”. 2007 was a very difficult year for me: emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Those of you who have been with me that long will remember I had two horses die within 2 months of each other. One of which was my personal mount and friend. (He is the horse I am on in the profile pic.) I developed a blood clot in my leg that year. We almost lost our oldest dog Zorro. We learned that Doyle’s oldest brother was in need of a liver transplant. My daughter was going through very difficult times as well and I felt like God was very far away from me.
Things improved in 2008. The future was looking bright once again and then came 2009 when our daughter who has a good head on her shoulders showed us her humanness. In March she totaled her truck and was arrested for a DWI. I was so thankful that she didn’t get hurt or hurt anyone else! Doyle & I had been praying that Vanessa would return to following after the Lord instead of living life her own way. I sure didn’t expect this! I asked the Lord if it was possible to let this pass but if not than I wanted His will to be done not mine. That sounds like it was easy but it wasn’t. I so wanted to rescue her but I couldn’t from this.
God showed His grace, mercy and favor to Vanessa. The County Attorney along with his investigative team decided that they would not take her case to court! I couldn’t believe it! Ya God! She isn’t out of the woods yet as DPS still has her license. For now she has a pink slip that allows her to drive until she gets a hearing with the State of Texas. She just received a letter last week setting her court date for July 8th. God’s favor continued with the insurance company who paid more than we were expecting!
Things were looking up again when Vanessa dropped another bombshell. May 13th, three days after Mother’s Day Vanessa told us we’re going to be grandparents. This one pretty much took the wind out of my sails. I love my daughter and I do want to be a grandmother but I didn’t want it to happen this way. I spent a few weeks crying out to God and very close friends. Dealing with anger and despair. I’ve worked through most of that now and have found myself beginning to think about scrapbook stuff and how different my life will be. I told several of my friends that now I’ll have more baby pics than dog pics! Vanessa is do January 6th. She and I are kind of hoping that the baby will be born before the new year but we’ll see.
A friend of mine suggested a CD called Those Who Dream by Kristine Mueller. I couldn’t get past the very first song called “Trust”. I have finally listened and continue to listen to the entire CD but the first song has become “my song” for this season in my life and has been a great comfort to me.
It’s the sweetest thing to trust You
Just to know, You got everything under control
It’s the sweetest thing to trust You
Just to know you got everything
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be shaken
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be moved
High up on a rock looking out at the horizon
Watching as the storm rolls in
Wondering if my heart will survive it
As the waves crash all around me
And I can’t remember what it feels like to be free
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be shaken
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be moved
You say “I’ve got you My baby, Oh I’ve got you
Its quite the mess you’re in
but it’s nothing love can’t fix
So sit here upon my shoulders
And watch as it all unwinds”
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be shaken
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be moved
God is making me a mountain that nothing will shake or move. I am learning that trusting Him is the sweetest thing. Just knowing He really does have everything under control.
Have a good one!
Over the last couple of years God has been relentless in revealing my lack of trust in Him and lovingly pursuing and encouraging me to “let go”. 2007 was a very difficult year for me: emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Those of you who have been with me that long will remember I had two horses die within 2 months of each other. One of which was my personal mount and friend. (He is the horse I am on in the profile pic.) I developed a blood clot in my leg that year. We almost lost our oldest dog Zorro. We learned that Doyle’s oldest brother was in need of a liver transplant. My daughter was going through very difficult times as well and I felt like God was very far away from me.
Things improved in 2008. The future was looking bright once again and then came 2009 when our daughter who has a good head on her shoulders showed us her humanness. In March she totaled her truck and was arrested for a DWI. I was so thankful that she didn’t get hurt or hurt anyone else! Doyle & I had been praying that Vanessa would return to following after the Lord instead of living life her own way. I sure didn’t expect this! I asked the Lord if it was possible to let this pass but if not than I wanted His will to be done not mine. That sounds like it was easy but it wasn’t. I so wanted to rescue her but I couldn’t from this.God showed His grace, mercy and favor to Vanessa. The County Attorney along with his investigative team decided that they would not take her case to court! I couldn’t believe it! Ya God! She isn’t out of the woods yet as DPS still has her license. For now she has a pink slip that allows her to drive until she gets a hearing with the State of Texas. She just received a letter last week setting her court date for July 8th. God’s favor continued with the insurance company who paid more than we were expecting!
Things were looking up again when Vanessa dropped another bombshell. May 13th, three days after Mother’s Day Vanessa told us we’re going to be grandparents. This one pretty much took the wind out of my sails. I love my daughter and I do want to be a grandmother but I didn’t want it to happen this way. I spent a few weeks crying out to God and very close friends. Dealing with anger and despair. I’ve worked through most of that now and have found myself beginning to think about scrapbook stuff and how different my life will be. I told several of my friends that now I’ll have more baby pics than dog pics! Vanessa is do January 6th. She and I are kind of hoping that the baby will be born before the new year but we’ll see.
A friend of mine suggested a CD called Those Who Dream by Kristine Mueller. I couldn’t get past the very first song called “Trust”. I have finally listened and continue to listen to the entire CD but the first song has become “my song” for this season in my life and has been a great comfort to me.
It’s the sweetest thing to trust You
Just to know, You got everything under control
It’s the sweetest thing to trust You
Just to know you got everything
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be shaken
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be moved
High up on a rock looking out at the horizon
Watching as the storm rolls in
Wondering if my heart will survive it
As the waves crash all around me
And I can’t remember what it feels like to be free
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be shaken
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be moved
You say “I’ve got you My baby, Oh I’ve got you
Its quite the mess you’re in
but it’s nothing love can’t fix
So sit here upon my shoulders
And watch as it all unwinds”
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be shaken
You are making me a mountain
Making me a mountain
That can not be moved
God is making me a mountain that nothing will shake or move. I am learning that trusting Him is the sweetest thing. Just knowing He really does have everything under control.
Have a good one!
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